It’s funny how life often gets in the way of my best laid plans. Ever since I was a little girl, I knew what my life was supposed to be like. I had it all mapped out for years, how I wanted it to look, where I needed it to go and how I intended for it to be. And can you believe, it turned out completely different?! The cheek!
Younger Me would not like Present Me. Younger Me accepts no excuses. She would look at the undulating pathway of my life and issue Present Me a severe tongue lashing for failing to carry out the plan to the letter. For allowing myself to be distracted, for making the wrong choices, for accepting the wrong advice. For wasting all. That. Time. Younger Me is basically a bitch, but it’s okay, because she lacks the softer side that experience and maturity brings.
Present Me has learnt a great many lessons over the years, the foremost of which is that no matter what you plan, life has this annoying way of happening to you. And it keeps happening, particularly when you allude to ‘the plan’ and try to reroute things so that you get back onto your imaginary track.
This is all lovely I suppose, but what is the point? The point is, it’s never too late to come up with a NEW plan. Or, because Life might be listening, a general, totally flexible, not at all plan-like aim for the future.
I have spent a great deal of time (years, actually) looking back and punishing myself for wasting all that time, and I can promise you I didn’t get a damned thing out of it. Well, not true – I have some white hairs and consumed many litres of chocolate ice cream – but not in a happy way. Late last year I decided that I didn’t need any more white hairs (why are they so weird and squiggly?!) so I set myself on a new path.
First order of business was to study. This was a fairly nerve-wracking decision for me, and involved facing a lot of baggage. But I am nothing if not a believer in the old adage “where there’s a will there’s a way,” and so I set about getting my shit together.
And I am doing it. (Studying, not shitting) It was a bit of a rocky road and my daily schedule is intense, but I am doing it. I am learning and growing and hopefully setting myself up to change my life. Ambiguous, no? All the details wouldn’t fit into one little itty bitty post, so I guess I’ll have to tell the story in a few installments. Hopefully you’ll come along for the ride!