So, as the title of this post may suggest, I want to take a moment to talk about the kneedrop. In case you don’t know what that is, it’s basically a 13kg toddler leaping into the air and landing, pointy parts down, on your privates. Bubba Impractical has recently learnt this skill and it hasn’t taken him long at all to perfect it’s use.
The first example I know of was actually me – I thought I’d be brave and try some stomach crunches. I assumed the situp position, lying on the floor with my arms behind my head and my legs bent, shoulder-width apart. Before I’d done more than one or two crunches I heard the ominous pattering of feet, accompanied by giggling. Before I had a chance to really think about what might be about to happen, Bubba appeared silhoutted between my knees – airborne, I might add – with all his knees and elbows ready. And I had my arms behind my head. It was just as well I was winded, because Bubba couldn’t hear the words Mummy was saying as she caught him against her chest and rolled sideways to whimper on the floor.
Uncle Impractical was lucky enough to get two doses – the first of which involved Bubba lifting his arms to be picked up and accidentally grabbing a handful. With a frown on his face, he gave Uncle’s package a good squeeze, whilst Uncle squealed and danced until he was released. I must admit, that one was more than a little funny. Then it was only days later before Uncle I decided to roll around on the floor wrestling with Bubba. In his infinite quest for ways to entertain a little boy, he rolled himself up in a blanket like a big sausage. This was also funny, because it meant he had no way to defend himself when Bubba started slapping him right where it hurts – at least until Mummy came to rescue him.
Daddy doesn’t miss out, mind you. Oh no, not at all! In fact, the first instance we had was Daddy lying on the couch watching TV. Bubba decided to climb up and sit on Daddy, and where does he choose to put his knees? Right in Daddy’s crotch, of course! Daddy has actually been the one to receive what I would call the classic kneedrop – lying on the floor unsuspecting, only to get leapt on with all knees angled downwards. Much in the way I was attacked, really, only it was a sneaky ambush rather than a vocalised charge.
Whether you are a boy or a girl, such a… um, gift? Is never pleasant. Bubba, however, thinks it’s hilarious. I assume this is due to the fact that there is not only a cuddle involved (even if it is reflex in order to prevent further damage) but some impromptu rolling about and general humorous sound effects, which all contribute to his overall enjoyment of this maneouvre.
I can only hope it wears off with age, although I have it on good authority from Grandpa Impractical that I was once a pretty good kneedropper myself.
Has anything like this ever happened to you? Sharing is caring!
Lots of love,