Early in the mornings, when Daddy Impractical is in the shower, Bubba lays in bed with me and I give him his first bottle of the day. Afterwards, I snuggle into him and he nom nom noms on his Teddy for a bit whilst I half doze. Eventually Daddy gets out of the shower and then it’s my turn to bathe and dress for the day.
At this point I should take a moment to describe Teddy. He’s what is technically called a ‘comforter’ – a teddy bear head and arms with a little blanket instead of a body. He has a little bow at his neck, which Bubba thinks is delicious to chew on. Bubba has never had a dummy and so he snuggles up with Teddy instead. I actually have three of them, because they need to be washed on a fairly regular basis – believe me, slobbering on Teddy’s face for a while turns him into the stinkbear from cheeseville.
So, a couple days ago Bubba and I are snoozing in bed as per usual whilst Daddy showered. I was half aware of Bubba humming to himself in contentment, something he often does when he is chewing on Teddy’s bow. Mostly, I was asleep, for I’m not really a morning person – which is why I value these snuggles so much. Through my haze of happy-sleepy fog, I suddenly become aware that something warm and wet is being pressed against my mouth.
My eyes fly open only to see Bubba half rolled towards me, but more importantly, Teddy’s wet face against my own. I blink and pull my face away. Bubba laughs, carefully repositions Teddy in his fist and offers him to me again. I look at Teddy’s slobbery little face. Clearly Bubba thinks he is giving me the best present ever, given how much he loves Teddy, but I’m not entirely sure I need a dose of stinkbear this early in the morning. I turn my face away but I try to smile so he knows I’m not being rude.
However, Bubba is nothing if not persistent. He rolls onto his tummy, placing himself on my chest and effectively pinning my arms underneath the covers. I don’t really think much of this until he positions Teddy carefully, allowing for maximum slobbery angle, and then stuffs him into my face.
There is no escape! None! He is heavy now and I am at the wrong angle. Not to mention, I’m laughing because it’s funny and gross at the same time. Bubba takes this as a sign of Teddy nomming delight and mooshes the little bear harder into my face. Ew, ew, ew! What do I do? I am trapped.
Eventually I begin to think. Perhaps if he thinks I am enjoying Teddy, his task will be complete and I will be freed? I manage, in spite of Bubba’s efforts, to angle my head so that it appears I am munching Teddy’s slobbery face when in fact my lips are resting against his dry forehead. I then wiggle my jaw a bit and attempt to replicate the contented humming noise that Bubba makes when he is nomming.
Bubba is delighted. He is beaming and laughing whilst he tortures me. Eventually Daddy appears and, after much laughing and pointing, he rescues me from my love attack.
I am saved but I fear it is only the beginning. Morning cuddles will never be the same again!
Has anything like this ever happened to you? Sharing is caring!
Lots of love,