For the Love of Uncle Impractical

So, my brother is down for Christmas. He is in the air force and usually lives about nine hours away from us, so getting to see him for any length of time is pretty much a big deal. This Christmas, he’s down for a month and he’s staying with me. Bubba Impractical thinks that his Uncle Impractical is just about the most awesome thing ever and I may be speaking out of turn but I’d tend to think the feelings are well and truly reciprocated. Uncle I arrived on Saturday but it was late, so Bubba didn’t see him in the morning.

Bubba was so excited to see his uncle that he decided that nothing could keep them apart – especially the toilet door. I responded to cries of distress only to discover Bubba had broken into the toilet (he’s tall enough to reach the door handles now) whilst Uncle I was in there attending to his… erm, business. When I asked Bubba if he would come out and leave his uncle alone, he responded by turning around, wrapping his arms around Uncle I’s knees and trying to hide his face… in Uncle I’s lap. Thankfully Uncle I’s pants were mostly up (to protect his modesty I’d assume, seeing as his toilet time was now for public viewing) and I was pretty quick. You know it’s true love when you can’t even poo in peace, right?

Later on Uncle I, Daddy and Bubba were all sitting on the couch together watching Uncle I play video games. I’m not really watching them – I’m blending food for Bubba so it’s nice to have him out from under my feet for a few minutes. All of a sudden I hear Uncle I and Daddy both burst out laughing and I look over to see what they are doing to my little Bubba. (I feel this is warranted, because boys will be boys. I was anticipating seeing underpants on his head or something equally odd.) This is a good point to mention that Uncle I has tattoos – one on each upper arm.

I look up. They are on the couch where I left them, only Bubba has hold of Uncle I’s left bicep and is kissing the tattoo on his left bicep. It is a picture of two dragons wrapped around an ankh surrounded by a tribal design, and Bubba is showing his appreciation of such a pretty picture by kissing the dragon’s faces. It’s normal for him to express his approval of a book or photograph by kissing the faces he likes but he’s never seen a tattoo before. His kisses are a bit open-mouthed and have a tendency to involve a bit of teeth and sometimes a good licking (especially if you are Puppy Impractical, my parents’ dog). I don’t know if I can paint this picture accurately enough but basically there were some good raspberries being deposited on Uncle I’s arm. Daddy was laughing too hard to be any help, so in the end I carefully remove Bubba’s face from his uncle’s flesh and try to explain that even though it’s a very pretty picture, we really don’t need to bite this one. Thankfully Uncle I is laughing too!

One day down, the rest of the month to go. Good luck Uncle Impractical!

Has anything like this ever happened to you? Sharing is caring!

Lots of Love
Mummy Impractical

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