I lost my Grandpa in February this year. It was hard, it is still hard. I have a feeling it will always be hard – we were very close. I used to take Bubba to see him as often as possible and they got along famously. Bubba was only about seven months old when he lost his Great Grandpa and I always worried he would never remember a man who has been an enormous and positive influence for most of my life.
A few weeks ago I was sitting on the couch with Bubba in the late afternoon while we ate biscuits together. All of a sudden I notice Bubba is not eating his but rather staring off into the corner of the lounge. I don’t think much of it because his toys are there, so it’s not uncommon for him to show interest in that corner.
As the moments tick by and he continues to stare, I start to pay more attention. He is smiling now and as I watch, he starts to giggle. I follow Bubba’s gaze and realise he is staring at a patch of empty space slightly to one side of his toybox.
Short of options, I look down at my giggling munchkin and I say: “What is it, Bubba? What do you see?” I talk to Bubba a lot and I don’t really expect an answer but I get one. Bubba points joyfully at the empty space and says: “Pa, pa, pa, pa.”
The hairs on my neck and arms stand on end and I am swamped by a tremendous rush of emotion. I feel as though I cannot possibly believe what Bubba is telling me but tears are already streaming down my face. He knows to say ‘Pa’ for Grandpa because he also calls my Dad ‘Granpda’ – so I have no doubt of what he is saying.
What do I do? How can I argue with a happy, laughing, waving baby who can clearly see something I cannot even begin to fathom? So I follow my instincts. I say: “Can you see Grandpa? Tell him we love him very much and miss him every day.” Then I simply sit and hold my Bubba and while he chats away to thin air, I let the tears fall as I realise I have the answer to my question. He remembers.
The front door opens as Daddy Impractical arrives home from work and the spell is broken as Bubba slides off my knee and bustles down the hall to say hello. I stare at the empty space and I wonder. I feel silly but I blow a kiss anyway.
This moment was very emotional and I trust that whatever you believe, you will understand that it is very hard to argue with a little baby who has no concept of what he is seeing. I also trust you will be gentle with me as I commit this moment to my written memory.
Children are simply amazing, are they not?
Has anything like this ever happened to you? Sharing is caring!
Lots of Love
~For my Grandpa. I hope all children are blessed with a love as brilliant as yours, that it crosses all boundaries.~